


Second Guessing

by lamentsoflily



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: F/M, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:54:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24405370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamentsoflily/pseuds/lamentsoflily
Summary: People have been saying you dating Joshua is like winning a lottery, saying you must have saved the planet in your past life..is it though?
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Reader
Kudos: 5





	Second Guessing

**_“Fuck_** ” you breathed as you saw that its raining outside. You forgot to bring an umbrella since you always bring your car, or just didn’t thought of bringing one since Joshua said he’ll pick you up. But he didn’t. This is one of those nights wherein he had an emergency tapings, recordings or such. You can’t recall how many times this have happened. It became a “normal” thing throughout your relationship with him. But you couldn’t complain, cause who are you to complain, right?

You are drenching and shaking from the cold as you enter your apartment. _why is it raining when its December?_ You thought. Rushing to the bathroom, you run your most awaited bath. Filling it in with water with the right temperature, and infusing it with relaxing oils you bought to your liking. You didn’t even bother to check for your phone for messages or calls, you just had one goal in your mind, the bath you’ve been thinking of since you got out from your duty. As you dive in, all the stress seems to be going away, just the sound of rain splashing through the bathroom window envelops the whole room. You felt hungry but didn’t even bother to think about that because you are accustomed to not eating when you’re tired. You’d just rather bathe and sleep. That was your routine. you remembered Joshua, on how he’ll get angry when he knew about this. And then you remembered. You need to reply to his messages, if ever there is.

**_“Babe, I’m still here. Did you get home safe?”_ **

You stared at your phone and processing what to reply. _‘If I didn’t get home safe would it make a difference?’_ You tried not to sound sulky in your mind but you can’t just help not to. With a heavy sigh, you replied

**_“Yes, I did.”_ **

**_“That’s great. Ill try to come home to you, I promise. See you.”“Love you”_ **

Your relationship with Joshua was like winning a lottery. You were so damn lucky winning that prize everybody wanted. everybody’s always telling you how lucky you are, how they wish to be you. but during these times, You can’t help but to think if you really are lucky.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

You met Joshua in your friend’s clinic. He was having his general check up with the rest of his group. It was lunchtime so you didn’t think your friend would be having patients at this hour. So you barged in and yelled

“ ** _FRED!!! IM HUNGRY LIKE A WO———”_** shit. You murmured.

“ ** _Im sorry. Im really sorry”_** you stormed out. you laughed at how stupid you are for not knocking first, and how stupid you must looked back then. You didnt care, you didn’t even knew his patients were so why would you care right. You texted Fred instead to come at your own clinic when he’s done.

Scrolling through your social medias while waiting, you stumbled upon the posts of your high school and college friends having the time of their lives with their family or their own family at that. You let out a small chuckle thinking not just how you miss everything back home but also how you missed out on everything . but its the reality. Its a sad reality. You dreamed on being a doctor when you were in high school, not knowing how tiring its gonna be and how soul draining the profession was. You just like the “nobility” feeling it has, being a doctor. You became one, but never thought you’d hate being one after. You thought after those sleepless nights, endless studying after you pass the board exams, you’ll have the time of your life but no. you still ended up not having time for yourself. You woke up from your reminiscing when someone opened the door halfway with a head hanging out of it

**_“Hey princess of barging in like a mad man, im done let’s go eat”_** he laughed as he closes the door. You got up and made your way to the door grabbing your phone and wallet.

**_“Hey to you too, its your fault having out patients at lunchtime!! Who does that? Let people eat!!!”_ **

**_“They were VIPs, Ia. (_** _Pronounced as “Iya” short for Andria)_ ** _They were referred to me at 11:45 am consulting for emergency. But its not even an emergency, they were just checking if all of them are fit to perform. I think they’re gonna have a concert tonight. They were some sort of band I think. What they need was a quick go pass”_** he laughed.

**_“Oh really? i didn’t even get to see them!! I totally panicked and laughed as soon as I got out! Anyway where are we gonna eat? Im starving like a fucking zombie.”_ **

**_“Just somewhere near. I have to do my rounds at 3 you know how I don’t do it in the morning since most patients are cranky and im cranky, its not a good idea.”_ **

**_“Oh okay. wow, I didn’t know you were aware that you’re cranky”_** you teased.

You arrived at some restaurant. You were handed the menus and scanned them quick and ordered just as quick. You were really hungry.

**_“You didn’t even get to the next page, Ia. Are you that hungry?”_ **

**_“I wouldn’t barge at your office yelling I am if im not.”_** You laughed because you remembered again how it went.

As you wait for the food, you are just chatting with your friend about hospital things. Then he suddenly stood up and bowed, and you being dense as fuck, you just stared at the whole scenario thinking if you’re gonna do the same or just sit because you don’t know the person he’s talking to. But as a sign of respect you just out mindedly did, and bowed to him too. Turns out he was the manager of Fred’s patients back then. So they indeed was a band. A boy band to be exact. You remembered—again, how rude it mustve looked like when you barged in earlier so you apologised and explained the whole thing. As you’re explaining, bunch of guys entered the restaurant and it seem to never stop. Its like bootcamp. They headed towards your direction. manager guy told you that they were some sort of a boy group in Korea, you recalled your high school and college days since you were pretty much of a fan of groups back then. You and Fred took your seat after the small talk. Your mind is solely thinking of when the hell is the food going to be served. Jumping you out of your thoughts, Fred asked.

**_“Hey it seems that they are only our age. But boy you like you are much older?”_** he snarled.

Annoyed and hungry you barked back;

**_“Studying medicine did this to me, it added 10 years to my physical appearance. Don’t test me Fred, im hungry.”_ **

he laughed loudly at his seat making you more annoyed, you noticed that he gained attention from nearby tables which made you throw your towel napkin at him.

**_“Im sorry, haha— im sorry. Hey where’s the food..? Im kind of scared now hahahahahaha”_ **

but it seems that this restaurant is really taking its time making your food and its not helping. You tried your best to be composed when in reality you could’ve sworn you can eat the flower at your table. Thankfully, Fred tried his best on keeping you sane asking you non sense questions which some made you laugh and some made you just… meh.

**_“Hey, you know what? my patients are quite handsome you know. Isn’t that your type? not so built type of boys? Hahaha”_ **

**_“Hmm, I don’t have my glasses with me now and I don’t have my contacts on so umm pretty much I can’t check them out.”_ **

**_“Oh sucks to be you, but I really like the tall one. He seems nice.”_ **

**_“Oh stop it you slut.”_ **

Fred is your friend from college. You were seat mates for a subject. Then the rest was history, you really clicked with each other. You share the same taste with music, food and even movies. you really liked indie movies because it feels more surreal than any other genres. You became close because you keep on inviting each other for movie trips and beer nights. you had feelings from him back then but that’s another story. Because you are really sure that he’s not straight. Though he tells you that he really is. He once told you that he kind of liked you but you shrugged it off telling him that maybe he’s just used to being with you all the time. And he kind of agreed.

You really wonder if he’s straight because you really don’t wanna assume things since its not for you to tell. But as times go by, you entered med school, he entered a different one. He’s kind of gifted when it comes to academics so he secured a slot in a prestigious med school while you’re just doing your job not to fail, not really caring about scoring high. You pushed through, and you made it.

After eons, your food finally came. Your mouth watered as they were put in to your table. Ready to devour what’s in front of you.. Fred hurriedly halted your actions and told the most annoying thing he has ever told you, you’re not sure if he’s just teasing you but if he’s not then he has got to be kidding you.

**_“Na--uh—uh…~ Let’s pray first”_ **

“ ** _Are you kidding me right now?”_** It kind of echoed through the nearby tables. You heard someone from the boy group table laugh, wondering if you’re the one he’s been laughing to, how they understood you if they were koreans..? Then you unknowingly glared to that person, because he is annoying why is he laughing at the matters of others?

“ **Just do it, Ia.”**

After eating, you excused yourself to go to the bathroom. after you did your deed, you went out to the sink outside the bathroom. You happen to stumble upon someone as you were not wearing you’re contacts. Quite annoyed but you can’t blame anyone since you’re just a flick away from being blind when you don’t have your glasses nor your contacts.

**_“_ Oh im sorry.”** You said. You bumped into him quite hard you two almost lost your balance.

“ **It’s fine.. are you okay?”** he said. since you have a thing for voices, you immediately noticed how soft spoken he is. You looked straight into his face not knowing the boundaries you are quite trespassing now.

**“Im fine, thank you.”** You said while withdrawing your close gaze to the man in front of you. You realised how creepy it must have been staring at him closely like that.

“ ** _Im sorry, I just don’t have my contacts on I tend to lean on something I can’t clearly see, im really sorry, sir.”_**

He laughed at you, and upon hearing his laugh, you just remembered, _“ah, this is the nosy guy from the other table, im sure.”_

_“_ ** _Im sorry for laughing, haha— you’re the doctor right? Who barged in during our check up?”_** You blushed as soon as you heard it. What a great time to be alive and embarrassed. You grimaced at the thought. Wishing for the gods to just take you or just kill you now.

_no chance of denying, you retorted back,_

_“_ ** _Yes, I guess I’ll be that doctor. The one who barges. Haha—.”_** You sarcastically laughed. _“_ ** _I’ll go first. Sorry again.”_**

**_“Oh, no worries.”_ **

You headed back to your table with Fred, who is not there. ‘maybe he already paid and is waiting for me outside?’ You thought. And as you look outside, you saw him. You were right. As generous as ever, he paid for you again. You smiled as you see him gesturing that you hurry up. You hurried outside and linked hands with Fred. You teased him because he paid again, telling him that he must’ve gotten a big bonus from the hospital. you just both laughed as you walked back to the hospital.

It was of course a tiring day at the hospital once again. Not to add that you had promised your friends that you’ll meet them tonight, as if you even have the energy to socialise, but you cannot say no to this since they came all the way from manila, your home country. It just common courtesy to meet them when they have a vacation here right? Its not like Chicago has so much to offer, you thought.

10 minutes before your duty’s done and you’re now thinking what to do with your friends, where you’ll take them— the cloud gate? The pier? You can’t even think of anything fun, your brain just can’t process things anymore. your day was toxic, you had 2 emergency surgeries. just as you thought Chicago isn’t doing anything stupid things anymore…. They just keep on surprising you with all the interesting patients you encounter in the emergency room.

You got home, took a quick shower, and messaged at the group chat of your friends.

**_Ia_ ** _:_ **_im done for the day. Where are you guys now? Where do you wanna go?_ **

**_Friend 1: Just go to our hotel, we already went to the spots we wanna see!! We don’t wanna tire you more after your work!! Lets just chill here!!_ **

**_Friend 2: we went everywhere we got lost we almost called you hahaha_ **

**_Ia: okay then, where r u staying? Ill go in a jiffy_ **

**_Friend 1: were here at ——_ **

**_Ia: wow you rich crocodiles, it mustve cost you a fortune staying there!!! There are a lot of good hotels at much cheaper price!!! You could have asked me!!!_ **

**_Friend 3: ia you cheapskate just go here stop nagging, were here for a vacation and to see you, you ungrateful bitch_ **

**_Ia: im just saying hahaha I missed you guys, ill be there in a few. Do I need to bring something?_ **

**_Friend 2: your boyfriend, miss. bring him_ **

**_Ia: I guess ill go empty handed._ **

**_Friend 1: ANDRIA what the fuck are you doing here not tasting Chicago’s fine men???? You’re missing out, there re a lot of cute guys outside!!!!_ **

**_Ia: oh shut up do I look like I even have time to date now_ **

**_Friend 2: just date Fred !!!! Get over your obsession that he’s gay_ **

**_Ia: he is, I am telling you. Hahahahaha okay ill be out now ill be driving, whats your hotel number?_ **

**_Friend 3: 2605._ **

**_Ia: ight. See u_ **

You feel tired as you drive, thinking whether to get coffee before going to the hotel or just after you meet them. You finally arrived at the hotel. Parked just a street after it. Now you’re just battling with yourself with that coffee. Should you get it now? There’s Starbucks infront of the hotel…. But you decided to get them later because they might want some too.

You rang the doorbell. But you can even hear them shouting and laughing despite the fact that youre still outside. You ran the doorbell again, they seem be having too much fun drowning the doorbell sound with their laughter. They finally opened up. Of course, you received drowning hugs and kisses, how are you’s, and you look like shit to each other. You missed the banter. You missed how loud they were. Suddenly the tiredness was just sleepiness. You were suddenly recharged but you really need that coffee.

**_Friend 1: Oh my god ia, I was just joking that you look like shit, your body’s bomb!!!!! What have you been eating? Have you been dieting? Men must have been throwing themselves at you!!_ **

**_Friend 2: true!! You even grew your hair! I thought you hate having long hair? fuck you look good, im not kidding_ **

**_Ia: calm your fucking tits, I don’t do girls im sorry— hahahaha_ **

**_Friend 1 and 2: ahahahaha fuck you._ **

**_Friend 3: we missed you Andria. God, you don’t even come back to the Philippines anymore!_ **

**_Ia: why would I? I don’t have anything to go back there besides you crazy crackheads. My whole family’s here.. they go back during all saints though and stay until Christmas. But I don’t since I have no choice, I have work. Enough of me, how are you guys why the sudden vacation here? You’re really that rich now huh? taking vacation overseas????_ **

**_Friend 1: hahaha we are certainly not!! You know how it is being a doctor in the Philippines. Its not really that high paying. Unless you have lot’s of patients and operations. We are all just tired from duties and Friend2 has something to say to you._ **

**_Ia: what is it? I don’t have money I hate to break it to you this early im sorry_ **

**_Friend 2: Siraulo. Hindi ‘yon. (TR:its not that you crazy bitch.)_ **

**_Ia: spill it_ **

**_Friend 2: im getting married and I want you to be one of my bridesmaids._ **

**_Ia: friend 2 you slut. WHO IS THE UNLUCKY GUY OH MY GOD I CAN IMAGINE ALL THE NAGGING HE’LL GET._ **

**_Friend 2: hahahaha— oh stop it. You don’t even know how the great is the sex that he’ll get forever.Its—. Were getting married in June. I can expect you right? You’ll come home for me right?_ **

**_Ia: TMI. Ew. of course !!! Oh my god im so happy for you bitch!!!!_ **

The night went on. They told you where they went for the day. They mentioned that Fred was the one who showed them around.

**_Friend 3: you know what, im really appalled by the fact that you guys are still not dating each other._ **

**_Ia: who? Me and Fred? Im telling you, it’ll never happen. He is gay. Im sure of that. Just earlier, he was checking out his patient, who seems to be a singer from Korea._ **

**_Friend 3: I don’t buy it. Im sure he likes you. still. I really know it ever since you introduced him to us and he became a part of our clique. I just feel it._ **

**_Ia: drop it, you’re crazy. Hahahahaha— anyway who wants coffee? Ill buy. There’s Starbucks infront._ **

**_Friend 2: wow ia, you have just seen us now and coffee is all you’ll treat us? God that’s one thing that didn’t change is it? You being cheap_ **

**_Ia: shut up!!!! Ill treat you on my layoff im just sleepy!!! Hahahaha— what do you want just answer it!!_ **

**_Friend 1: I want caramel macchiato extra pump of——_ **

You memorised all the special orders of your friends and stressed about it since it has so many special instruction, you’re hoping that you’ll remember it, maybe you’ll just call them later if ever you forgot. You went to the elevator and pushed the button. As it was going down, it stopped on a floor. As the door opens, 4 guys went in, and one seems to be surprised and looked at you.

**_“Oh?—“ he said while pointing at you._ **

You are startled because why would he point at you does he know you? But you ignored it and just stared back at him. He didn’t talk after that so you just thought that he must have mistaken you for someone.

As the elevator continues to go down yo notice that one of them is filing the 3 guys, you thought.. oh they must be some youtube vloggers or something. You can’t see their faces too since they have large ass hats and masks. You were the first to alight the elevator. You went to Starbucks and ordered all the ridiculous special orders your friends told you and just one tall cold brew for you since its night time now, you just need a small recharge just to survive the remaining hours of the day. As you wait for your order you noticed that the people who were with you in the elevator was here as well. They were ordering too. You checked your phone for messages. And saw nothing so you just scrolled through facebook, as you were scrolling someone waved at your phone..

You wondered who it is, its one of the elevator guys…

**_“Its you right?”_ **

**_“Uhm… from the elevator? Yeah.. I am.. uhh do you need something?_ **

**_“No!! But yeah, but no!!” He said as he took of his mask and lifted his cap a little and pointed to himself. “Its me!”_ **

**_“Uhm im sorry im not really great with remembering people… who are you again?”_ **

He laughed in shock.

**_“Haha its me, the one at the restaurant? Doctor Garcia’s patient? You also bumped on me at the washroom?”_ **

Fuck. fuck you saw his face. Fuck how stupid can you be? You know this face, you just can’t remember his name back then. You recalled your high school and college moments he must be from some group you listened to back then. You really can’t. You don’t know what to do. You didn’t knew it was him earlier since you didn’t have contacts or eyeglass on back then. Oh my fucking god. Who is this? You really tried hard remembering which group he was from. But your brain failed you.

**_“Hey? Are you okay?” You came back to reality when he asked you again._ **

**_“yes. Yes im very much okay. Im okay. Yes it was you right? Im sorry. I didn’t have my glasses back then, I didn’t know it was you. Im sorry”_ **

**_“Hahaha why do you keep on saying sorry— you’re funny. Haha— im Joshua. im doctor Fred’s patient earlier”_ **

**_“Yeah, you already told me earlier, im———“_ **

**_“4 drinks to go for Ia, FOR IA, DRINKS TO GO”_ **

Being the socially inept person that you are, you didn’t even excuse yourself and just went straight to the counter. you got your drinks and went back to where you were but saw that he was called back to where the group was, and you just went on.. you went back to the hotel.

As you were waiting to cross the street, you now realised how disrespectful you were back then, you smiled at the thought. It was Joshua.. yeah but you still can’t remember how you know him.. you just know he’s from somewhere.. you finally crossed the street. As you were walking you hear someone shouting hey but you ignored it since maybe its not you right?

**_“HEY!”_ **

**_“HEY DOCTOR!”_ **

_You looked back and saw Joshua waving at you. You waved back._

**_“I DIDNT GET YOUR NAME DOC!”_ **

**_“ITS IA. IM IAAA!”_ **

_You both laughed._

**_“NICE TO MEET YOU DOCTOR IA!”_ **

**_You smiled, he smiled and you both turned your backs._ **


End file.
